Read of fun! :)

Via Samreen Naqvi,

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term exam. The answer by one student was so "profound" that
the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of
course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well...

Here is the "Bonus Question" on the exam: "Is Hell exothermic (gives off
heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?"
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state
that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since
there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong
to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls
in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
Law states that in order for the temperature and
pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until
all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa (a
girlfriend of mine during my Freshman year) that, "it will be a cold day
in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I
slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure
that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."

Disgust

Disgust it is! That’s what I am, nothing but a big pile of disgust. Every time I strive to get out of the pit hole of sorrow, grief and sadness, I just fall deeper and deeper. My constants of sanity keep changing and I am unable to cope.

I have crippled my self. I have been the architect of my own disasters, I give hope to know one and cannot cause happiness to no one. Not even myself.
I lure in the darkness and move away when the light shines.
I have lost every ounce of courage I ever had and yet I cant kill myself, nor those I want to!
God you create everyone for a purpose, what Thy choose for me, is something I would question you for but you don’t answer, you just don’t answer!
You make me weak and you ask me to stand up to the challenge? How unjust can it get!
Why cannot I get out of the mess? You know I try hard right? You know what goes in my head why cant you fix that? Why cannot you speed up time and just put an end to this ?
Why is a question you would never answer and I would never know….

Teaser

The Embassy opposite Park Lane is one lucky place.
Because there is a laugh that is so pure and so blunt that I am sure not only sparkles off through those mundane walls, but also permeates to make the sunshine in a pleasing way.
She is very proper, thought provoking and interestingly beautiful. She keeps you captivated with her voice and her speech.
If there were ever a term called a cute hot nerd! She would fit the crown perfect.
She has attitude that runs on her company, she has grace that few could have, and she is shit scared of the transformers at the dentist’s.
Above all she is this wonderful absorbing listener that any friend, companion or comrade will kill for.
So as it goes in the advertising bits of things, this, my friend is a teaser of what a wonderful person you are and how much more wonderful you make my world.
It was not your presence but your absence that made me realize that who leaves you, leaves the violet that completes the rainbow.
So said me, who has you back.

The date that is fast paced....

He: so why cannot we do this every day? You know I can chauffer you till the rest of my life and for free! You just don’t know how priceless these trips are for me.
She: Shut up!
He: why do you keep saying that?
She: because you need to?
He: what if I don’t?
She: *looks outside* what can I say?
He: Urgh! You hold limitless powers of teasing!
Why do you always turn away and look outside when I am talking? What in the world is so interesting about those fences and stupid bushes that always grab your awareness?
You take away all my sanity. The moments when your eyes glow when you talk, when you squeeze in your lips to say “Hmmm” when you shake your head in disgust, all these gestures of normality are so unique for me and so wonderful that I can ever explain them.
She: Shut up! I don’t believe you. You just smooth talk! And why are you touching my hand? Pervert!
He: *sighs in despair* my not a pervert and I am definitely not a smooth talker. Why do you only categorize my holding of your hand with some fantasized fetish sexual ordeal?
Haye! You’re typically cutely shallow!
She: no I am not! And you are still a pervert!
He: and you are so awesomely cruel which is worth the infinite moments of hurt.
You know what I sense when I touch you? You radiate hope. Your peculiar gentleness leaves me mystified and creates a surge of strength and weakness at the same time.
Your fingers signify that the world is rapture where misery is unknown.
She: whatever! *looks away and smiles*
He: and this feeling I cannot ever explain to you because I opted to love you. In fact you don’t opt to love; you just love someone out of the pure reason of how dynamic the individual is and how unconditional your reasoning is.
Words are a very limited tool to describe my feelings.
She: I don’t believe you.
He: I know I don’t want you to.
She: tum pagal ho! ( you are mad!)
He: No im perfectly sane you just provoke my sanity. You would never understand. Neither would I
She: we have reached! Now will you please?
He: we have?
And I thought my journey had just started.

Silence

Emotions are the deepest feelings that an individual can exhibit. They define who we are. No matter how strong or weak, they fabricate our thoughts, our actions and how we opt to live our lives.
My emotions are strong. Really strong.
That’s why I am always hesitant in making friends or get into a relationship. I like to remain independent because once I find an acquaintance; my prowess to dependency takes immediate control.
And that sucks.
My realization of personal space of people disappears instantly. I want to question I want to know what they are doing, I just want to be their shadow.
So when life goes off the road, or takes a rough road, I don’t have a spare tire, everything comes to shatteringly stand still.
The silence and pain of life is so…quiet.
The sounds are maddening and all you can imagine is the black hole in which you are sucked in bit by bit.
We need to keep fantasizing, keep imagining and keep dreaming of the perfect world even if it doesn’t exist.
For as for reality it only hangs by the most exposed thread.
And that scares the living hell out of me.

Heavy at heart

Optimism is not a thought, it’s a process its actions that we put in our lives to make it more bearable. It’s not the art of looking at the glass half filled, but it’s our innate actions and our mindset that keeps us (humans) positive about life, which to be honest is a pretty hard thing to do. There is should be specific recognition and applause for those who manage to be positive and “level headed” in face of adversity.
I write this because I can’t relate to being optimism. It is so complicated to be happy about life. It is so effingly difficult to remember your moments of serenity and happiness when things are absurd and are peer shaped.
I just realized for a rant this post is too bookish.
I have so many questions that I want to ask but I don’t ask. I have so much to shout about. To shout my guts out to a point my lungs hurt and my voice is hoarse!
But I cannot, I am incapable and I would not. That’s how I function. I absorb it in me and sulk my life out. I will curse myself to death to things I am not responsible for and yet I won’t utter a word.
And I hate myself for this.
I am losing my sense of live. I never had friends and I am losing the ones that I have.
Maybe I think too much. Yes I certainly do. I am obsessed with my brain. But how could you not think? How could you not just let go of yourself and surf along with the crowd? How could you let things happen?
“How” is such a difficult word to comprehend.
So this post is dedicated to all those pessimist realistic people who will just be heavy at heart.
Realistically the glass is always half empty, because someone drank the water before you.
We all deserve hell.
Signed, Me.

Symphonies

Wow.
Life is one dance that even the shy has to dance in front of the spectators that is beset to ridicule you.

You get nervous, you are obnoxious yet you dance to tunes you don’t know.
Amongst all this paranoia, you see this encouragement or so it is.

You look at her and you see she is not laughing with the crowd.

You observe closely and you see that she is laughing with you, not on you. You feel warmth radiating from her in form of appreciation which not only makes you confident but also makes you to believe.

I have never been more open to anyone as much as I have been to her.

And yet I’m unable to pronounce that to her. You see I am an introvert out of practice and dedication.
I make sure that I don’t express, and she makes sure that I am incapable of doing just that.


The act of appreciation is an act, if not carefully performed can be considered maligned.

You appreciate at times out of sheer need of to be appreciated by the other. Quite natural, quite selfish quite humane.

But at times you appreciate things, moments, feelings unconditionally. You don’t attach any strings.

You are just so overwhelmed by such occasions that all you can utter or burst is the absolute praise for which you are truly thankful for.

Even if you are an introvert.


So move close because you need to know that you are appreciated and loved for every ounce that you dwell for, for every thought you teasingly keep silent, for every gesture of console and anger that you unleash and for every pour of water that you pour from the bottle.


And when you say you hate yourself I need to let you know that you shouldn’t and that you are very wrong. You cannot make this world to hate you.


You need to realize that your happiness lies in your aura. Your tears don’t wash the world but they sketch sadness and an air of nostalgic glumness that eats away your heart as well as mine…

So in your moment of space when these words intrude you, they would only like to make you blissful because you are destined for value of not only yourself but also for a certain insignificant me.

Smile,

because the dance that is life is yours….

Sparkle

I am always for expressions.
It helps us explain our thoughts in a profound manner. No matter how bookish it may sound, but as per reality expressions are the sole reason that identifies us with life. It identifies happiness, anger, sadness and love….
She is the quintessence of expressions.
If its happiness, you can feel it meander through everyone in the most viable way.
Her blur of anger leaves you like a child who pleads guilty yet is embarrassed enough to accept. And yet her expressions of love no matter how whispered they are and how hardly audible they may be, makes you crave with excitement and joy that bounds infinite…
Her quizzical application of the regular norm words segregates them from being normal and creates an imagination of the perfect setting of the moonlight, the winter and the musical silence.
Moonlights are fun. It not only twinkles on the gloomy, but also invigorates a sense of proximity that either me or she or thy who knows can imagine.
For a fact I can tell you she just blush her life out and wants to kill me this very second
Then all that shines is not gold is it?
A day of turmoil appears… my life is imbalanced by the change in the regular. I feel dejected ,I feel lost ,I feel nothing….
I look for a shoulder and I find none. I try to communicate for which I’m halted. Those seconds made me skip a heartbeat and made me realize how sophisticatedly weak I’m.
Expressions are overwhelming too. So overwhelming that mere quietness shouts at you with pain, anguish and releases in form of tears.
And I am not even gifted with moments of madness that could make things certain. I opt to sulk; to deem I am treated correct is my significant way of self punishment.
Then I hear she is sick. Something that I hate to relate to. I pray not for her change for me but for her to change to happiness because that’s her expression.
The happiness that twinkles in her eyes is beyond captivating.
She flicks a wide smile and laughs with so much clarity and carelessness that you feel spell bound and begin to question the balance of life. In a way that you don’t associate that life is varied with its significant share of happiness and sadness.
Because she eliminates sadness.
So I rely on hope and it relies on me. And it bears fruit. She communicates and opens me up. I thank God again that he levels us and administers in me her bond.
No matter how complicated it may be, the bond is my lifeline to peace and I hope to hers the expressions of happiness and joy.
So is it the moonlight which I cherish, or the whispers of love, I just want you to know that you shall be loved (thank you Marron5)
Curl up read this and express happiness because that signifies not your twinkle but my life.